Dear vagina,

‘I know you’re not dead, even though I can barely feel you any more.’

I get that I consciously ignore you, even pretend you’re not there. I shut your voice out, so maybe that’s why you no longer respond well to me. You are a part of me, so I thought that I’d always get to say how things would be between us. But you definitely have the power to get me back, to thwart me and snuff out any whisper of potential intimacy.

The love was lost between us and with it, the gentleness.

I guess that I feel like you betrayed me. I can’t trust what you say. You always banged on about your wants and needs, setting your sights on this one or that one. It was all a waste of time and energy as far as I’m concerned. None of those people ended up being for me in any shape or form. So, I just stopped listening.

To be fair, the one great thing you did was send my son into the world. I should be grateful for that and I truly am. But even then, you couldn’t get it right. A vaginal birth is supposed to trigger breast milk and I never had enough. I’m not sure I ever forgave myself for that. It was tough to be told you’re starving your baby.

When I was asked to write this letter, I realised I’ve been giving you the cold shoulder for so long now it’s become a habit. It’s petulant of me and it’s time I grew up and made amends. Perhaps this is a good opportunity to reach out to each other with compassion and forgiveness? You are just another part of my machinery doing its thing and I’ve been learning to love and appreciate it all.

Let’s move forward! Let go of the past and see if we can discover something new together. I’m game if you are.